Water Into Wine: a meditation from the reed bed

•January 11, 2022 • Leave a Comment

For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent, and for Jerusalem’s sake I will not rest, until her vindication shines out like the dawn, and her salvation like a burning torch.    

                                                                             Isaiah 62.5

Tsiyon צִיּוֹן (Zion),Holy Mountain of the Temple within, in silence I climb, led by the Spirit to…

ירושלם Yeru-Shalem, tribal federation in whom difference meets difference and finds herself to be One, dancing in creative tension of being, wild like the Spirit, gentle as the Dove, free like the dawn, burning with unfettered potential of a new day. Though I would stay here forever, I know I must descend the mountain and return to the valleys and the cities, to call your people home. I will teach them to pray and so to find you within them, and they will know salvation once more.

Oh Church of God…

… as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your builder marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.    

                                                                           Isaiah 62.5

Oh Church of God, you will be beautiful again.

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of services, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who activates all of them in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.

                                                             1 Corinthians 12.4-6

Prophet, teacher, bringer of light, healer, carrier of relief, feeder of the hungry, provider, home maker, vagabond singer, poet priest, freer of captives, administrator, money expert, builder, mechanic, farmer, trader, leader, you have called us all, each to their own. Talents and gifts, to each something special but not to be squandered, flexed or hidden away.

Beauty cannot be faked; she walks where glamour seldom stoops to tread. “Look deep,” you say, “find the hu-man within. Follow your heart. You know the Way. Rebuild my church. Rebuild my church. Rebuild my Church.”

…standing there were six stone water-jars for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, ‘Fill the jars with water.’ And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, ‘Now draw some out…          John 2.6-8

In Living water, we are baptized, in the mikvah gathering waters, on the Yorden (Jordan) free-flow threshold of Promised Land, we go down once more into the dying of self, and we will rise in bridal gown to offer the wine of Eternal Life. Intoxicated with the nectar of the knowledge of who we really are, we will return to the Oneness of selfless Self, the Bride united at last with the Bridegroom in the Bridal Chamber of Love Unbound.

For Zion’s sake we will not keep silent, and for Jerusalem’s sake we will not rest…

For with you is the well of life and in your light shall we see light.  With you, O God, is the well of life.                          Psalm 36.10

Come to the Water: The Baptism of The Christ

•January 7, 2022 • Leave a Comment

I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour.                                 Isaiah 43.2-3

You are the Oneness, the Isness of all being. Apart from you, nothing is. You are the Source from which all being flows. And yet, still I throw rocks of self-doubt and half-baked schemes for happiness into the waters of my life, hoping for steppingstones, but just blocking and diverting the free flow beauty of your Grace. I cling to broken branches and swim against the flow, only to feel the branch pull away from the reed bed that held it and then roll and crash and scrape my skin on jagged river-rock banks, tangling with the roots of the very trees of life. And then, I hear your voice, like silence, whispering in the melodies of the river, “Come back my child. Let go into the flow, be baptised in my Name, the name that can never be spoken or contained, only known, only lived… For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour… and Because you are precious in my sight, and honoured, and I love you…”                   Isaiah 43:4


                     ~ breathe ~

Now when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, the heaven was opened, and the Holy Spirit descended upon him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven, ‘You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.’ Luke 3.21,22


Coming up from the water, it is in the breath that I am set free

Ruha… Ephphatha Hash’mayim

In breath and living water, I am open to heaven, heaven open to me.

Mayim, water.

Sh’Mayim, heaven.

I see heaven opening in me, opening me, opening me to you, and to the all, everyone and everything, one being, one love, one Life…

Ruha d-Qud’sha, Holy Spirit, fall on me…

Peace… peace… peace…

                  ~ breathe ~

The voice of the Lord is upon the waters;  the God of glory thunders;  the Lord is upon the mighty waters…

The Lord shall give his people the blessing of peace.                                          Psalm 29.3

Oh God, I Am your daughter. Oh God, I Am your son. Beloved, with you I am well pleased… 

~ breathe ~

Holy Night: Christmas Meditation

•December 21, 2021 • Leave a Comment

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of the messenger who announces peace, who brings good news, who announces salvation, who says to Zion, ‘Your God reigns.’                       Isaiah 52.7                                   

Shalom! Shlama! God is. The One Breath lives. I have returned to the beginning. The many delusions of my self-obsessive quest for purpose and meaning have crumbled in the dryness of my meditations. Original peace, she who exists beyond opposites, beyond measure of success or failure, good or bad, big or small, rich or poor, dead or alive, dark or light, right or wrong, in whom is all potentiality and possibility, has announced herself in the open plains of my heart-blessed consciousness. Barefoot, she walks in the mountains of my soul, and her voice is like soft rain on the parched earth, and pretty flowers grow:

Listen! Your sentinels lift up their voices, together they sing for joy; for in plain sight they see the return of the One Breath to Zion. Break forth together into singing, you ruins of Jerusalem; for the Promised One has comforted his people, he has redeemed Jerusalem.                   Isaiah 52.8, 9

My heart sings, and I make joyful noise with harp and lyre, flute and trumpet…

Let the sea roar, and all that fills it; the world and those who live in it. Let the floods clap their hands; let the hills sing together for joy at the presence of the Lord

                                                            Psalm 98.7-9

So far have I travelled, so long have I sought, and yet it is only when I stopped because I just could not go on, that the messenger came through. I’d clung so tightly to the threads of my dreams, I’d “fought the law and the law won”, screamed, “Justice!” into the wind and the wind beat against my face, even done it “my way” and found it just doesn’t work. Finally, I stared into the abyss and called out your Name. “Let go,” you said, and I began to fall… “Return to the beginning,” spoke a voice so sweet and so true…

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.

                                                            John 1.1-5

Dabar d’Alaha. Word of God. In the beginning, I Am whom I Am. I was lost and I am found. I was empty and I am overflowing. The abyss does not consume or devour us. It is nothing but the construct of our own fears, weakness of faith and lack of love. When we resist, we give definition to the illusion. We are so afraid of the fall that we barely dare to stand. We thought the fall was inherited and there was nothing for it but to sacrifice the animal in us to buy a notion of worthiness and so gain approval, wealth and power. But Love is Love. Love never gives up and now the Christ, Word of God, Love Love’s self, has come to take us home. I stand at the beginning. Shalom! Shlama! God is.

Who Do You Say That I AM?

•December 14, 2021 • Leave a Comment

A Meditation for Advent Four

Jacob wrestled with God all night.

Then the man said, ‘You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have wrestled with God and with humans, and have prevailed.’ Then Jacob asked him, ‘Please tell me your name.’ But he said, ‘Why is it that you ask my name?’ And there he blessed him.               Genesis 32.28                                   

ישראל Yi-shra-el from שרה (sara), to become solid from the retention of liquidity – אל (‘el), God

…you, O Bethlehem of Ephrathah, who are one of the little clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to rule in Israel, whose origin is from of old, from ancient days…                                  Micah 5.2

From the small place in me, the simple place, the house of bread and fruit in me, in the place of origin, the eternal source of me, there will I find the Christ in me, Master of my grappling soul. Here, when the threshing is done, the night gone and morning come, I find the blessing One. I have fought all night with God and man, and I did not give in. In flow of blessing, I rise to a new day and walk on.

He abolishes the first (guilt offerings) in order to establish the second (the way of God). And it is by God’s will that we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.

                                                    Hebrews 10.10

I go to do your will now. This dark night of soul, my spirit has prevailed. Yet it was not me who prevailed but the Christ in me. It is the Christ in me who moves me now. I go to do your will. I will walk in your Way. I will go to the people in your holy Name.

In those days Mary set out and went with haste to a Judean town in the hill country, where she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth.                       Luke 1.39

Traveling in the radiant light of mystic joy, she can hardly wait to greet her sister in Christ. Together, they will bare the Preparation and the Way, the Threshing and the Blessing, the Baptism and the Christ.

When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the child leapt in her womb.                  Luke 1.41

Dark night of soul and dawn of enlightenment dance in the yin-yang womb of being. The dark night leaps as the Light permeates her defences. Deep calls to deep, “Let go your defences, sweet sister Love. I have come to set you free.”

And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and exclaimed with a loud cry, ‘Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb.

                                                                Luke 1.41, 42

Blessed indeed, says the Spirit. Sing…

My soul doth magnify the Lord and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.  For he hath regarded the lowliness of his handmaiden.  For behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.  For he that is mighty hath magnified me and holy is his name. My soul doth magnify the Lord.                                        Luke 1.46-49

It is in this lowliness of my being, among the very  warts I thought I had to hide; it is here that Christ has been always waiting for me. It is here, in utter simplicity that I finally see, that truly I AM free!

full meditation – The School of Christian Mysticism

The Way of the One Breath

•November 10, 2021 • Leave a Comment

A Meditation for Kingdom 3

Heavenly Father, your blessed Son was revealed to destroy the works of the devil and to make us the children of God and heirs of eternal life…                            Collect     

There shall be a time of anguish, such as has never occurred since nations first came into existence. But at that time your people shall be delivered… Many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake… Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky…  Daniel 12.1-3

In the silence, the shadows of our fears can no longer hide within the chattering unconsciousness of our self-deluding castle walls. The pains of parent-failing childhood meet the raging youth and the half conformed, dream-suppressed grown up, growing up, dissembled, disembodied, distracted and diffused. Oh God, there is nowhere to hide here. The waves of my naked awareness threaten to overwhelm me. Oh God, from the depth of my drowning soul, I’m calling you. Oh God help me…

Preserve me, O God, for in you have I taken refuge;  I have said to the Lord, ‘You are my lord, all my good depends on you.’     

                                                             Psalm 16

I’ve built walls, mightier and thicker than my thickest skin…

As Jesus came out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, ‘Look, Teacher, what large stones and what large buildings!’

Then Jesus asked him, ‘Do you see these great buildings? Not one stone will be left here upon another; all will be thrown down.’                                                   Mark 13

Friend, don’t be afraid. You have built these walls to keep the monsters out. You have trusted worldly voices that have told you to hide your feelings and raise your fists, voices that say, ‘build your defences, dig in and fight hard. Face adversity with adversity, spite with spite, jealousy with zeal, fight the flight, flee the fight. Build yourself up, make yourself an empire, kick before you are kicked, laugh in the face of your own tears. Dog eat dog, eat dog…’

Now hear my voice, the One voice; listen:

Be still

and know that

I Am


Let all walls fall around you.

The kingdom of God is breaking through in you. These pains you feel so strong and so hard, make you feel like your heart will explode, they are the birth pangs of the kingdom, malkuta d’alaha, the guiding principle of the One Breath, the Way of the Christ. The Love of the Source is breaking your walls, inside and outside, breaking in you, breaking through you

This is but the beginning  Mark 13

My friend, you are standing at the beginning…

And death shall have no dominion…

Meditation: Kingdom Season Two

•November 1, 2021 • 2 Comments

Now after John was arrested, Jesus came to Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God, and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near; repent, and believe in the good news.’ Mark 1.14 ff

Malkuta d’Elohim. Malkuta d’Alaha. The Queendom/Kingdom of God. The Guiding Principle. The Realm of Being. The Way of God. The Baptizer has prepared the way for the Way. The Way has been brought near to you now. I Am the Way. Look inside you. The Way of God is within you. It was written there from the beginning. Repent. Turn around. Just as John told you, now I tell you. You cannot enter the Way within you unless you turn from the false programmes you have been brainwashed with, and look into the face of Love. It was told to you that if you look at the face of Love you will be burned up and die. Now listen to the good news. Hear the Gospel of Christ. Experience this. Draw it into the part of you that knows it is true. God loves you. Life is not a sick, demi-divine trick in which you are destined to fail however hard you strive to succeed. It is the pretend you, the lie of you, that which is birthed from the lied-to you, that will be burned. This one will die. I have come to release the captive you, unstop the ears of the deaf you, open the eyes of the blind you. I am here to show you that you are already free, already eternal, already good enough!

As Jesus passed along the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake – for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, ‘Follow me and I will make you fish for people.’ And immediately they left their nets and followed him.     Mark 1 continued

Come. There is work to do, a Gospel to proclaim. Trust me. Repent and trust me. Leave your nets, your programmes for happiness. Come with me. I will teach you on the road. I will teach you on the rough tracks of your life. I will show you the Way and teach you to show the Way to others. I told you. You are already good enough. Yes, there is much for you to learn but I believe in you. All I ask is that you believe in me too.

Wait on God alone in stillness, O my soul;  for in him is my hope. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold, so that I shall not be shaken. In God is my strength and my glory;  God is my strong rock; in him is my refuge.

Wait on God alone in stillness, O my soul. Psalm 62.5


Breath Prayer: Be still my soul

                           In You I rest

                           Be still my soul

                           In You I trust

On the Road, St Luke

•October 17, 2020 • Leave a Comment

   LUKE’S GOSPEL and its sequel The Acts of the Apostles are books of the road. They are about stepping out to take the message and teachings of Christ to those who have ears to hear them and the heart to absorb and live by them. These writings are no pious workings of an idealist sitting at his desk in some library far removed from the action he describes. Luke travelled with Paul and, though famous as the physician and healer evangelist, he is clearly a man of the road. It is Luke to whom the liberation theologians and activists look. In his Gospel is seen God’s “preferential option for the poor” (South American liberationists Gutiérrez, Boff, Segundo etc) and the subverting of worldly hierarchical schemata to “turn the world back the right way up” (eg Magnificat, Beatitudes, Nunc Dimitis).

   Luke was writing around the 80s AD from and into a community displaced from the synagogues and outcast from both Jewish and Gentile societies. Life for his community was raw and dangerous. Jesus sends out disciples to evangelise and heal, announcing the imminence of the kingdom of God for all who will receive it. “Go on your way”, he says, just get out there and don’t take anything you don’t need. Travel light. You are like lambs among wolves so don’t get side-tracked or sucked into any negative debates, just go in faith. If they won’t listen, kick off the dust and move on. Of course our Celtic ancestors in the faith were inspired by this and that is how they did their ministry. We are called to be just as brave in bringing the Gospel in our time.

  I am not saying that, however young, old, fit or unfit we might be, we should all leave everything and start walking and hitch-hiking into the distance! I am saying, however, that we must be bold in sharing our faith in Christ and our belief that his Way is the only way to live authentically and peacefully where we are and/or where we go. Shed the irrelevant bits and so be God’s “labourer” clearly and simply. God bless you always. Tim


•September 19, 2020 • Leave a Comment

But this was very displeasing to Jonah, and he became angry (Jonah 4.4)

And when they received it, they grumbled’ (Matthew20.11)

THE RELUCTANT PROPHET Jonah has long inspired empathy in me. When I experienced, during teenage tramping years through Europe, what seemed clearly at the time  to be my “calling”, I wrestled and argued with God. I didn’t want to have anything to do with any “church”, let alone be priest in one. “Leave me alone, let me travel and experience your world,” was my response. Ha ha! The irony of it seems immense now. What “world” was I even talking about? God’s Creation, the current political world, the world projected by my child/man imagination and culturized beliefs, what world? Anyway, later when I read about Jonah trying to run in the opposite direction to God’s calling to Nineveh, I had no problem relating! The futility of trying to evade all responsibility was equally clear.

      In today’s reading, Jonah, like the disgruntled labourers in the Matthean parable, models our very human tendency to judge our lives or aspects of them in relation to other people’s lives as fair or unfair, just or unjust. We all, to a greater or lesser extent, give credence to our internal judgement schemes and structures of belief and morality. In Western culture, we have been brought up to do things to achieve “right” outcomes, privileges, rewards etc.  When we work hard, we expect to be paid accordingly; when we excel at something, we expect recognition, praise or at least some kind of notoriety or promotion. Conversely, we expect people who behave to our judgement badly or lazily to be punished and not rewarded. The Book of Jonah, Matthew’s Gospel, the entire Bible, Nature and our lives keep on coming back to us, hold up their mirrors to us and ask repeatedly, “Who are you to judge what is right and what is wrong? Have you eaten of ‘the tree of knowledge of good and evil’? Oh you have? So do you know the mind of God yet?”

       But, thank God, God is gracious, God is merciful. Let’s come to the stillness in us. We are work in progress. Great is the Lord and highly to be praised (Psalm 145).

Less News, Less Social Media, More Prayer

•July 10, 2020 • Leave a Comment

Such great crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat there, while the whole crowd stood on the beach  

Matthew 13.2

THE IDEA of a crowd of any kind gathering at the moment seems a subversive one. Just meeting the ten or eleven people who had come to Llangennith last Sunday for a few minutes of private prayer inside one of our North Gower churches seemed a rare treat. Hopefully, we will be able to hold a formal act of worship before very much longer! Of course we can’t take that for granted. We know we must be patient.

     When Matthew wrote his Gospel, he was writing it for a community who had completely lost their place of worship. The Temple had recently been destroyed by the Romans and the priests all put to death. So when Jesus’ teachings are recounted by Matthew they are directed into that situation. The Jewish people were split, even down the middle of families, cities and villages. Remember Jesus’ words a few Sundays ago about bringing the sword rather than peace. Many people wanted to rebuild the Temple and re-instate a priesthood as quickly as possible and were putting their energy into planning and agitation for that. Matthew’s community, however, were not supportive of that. They followed Jesus and had come to understand his teaching as bringing them to the Temple within themselves. It was here they were to worship, here they would find the kingdom of heaven already present.

      The sower in the parable does not dig over the soil before he sows the seeds of the kingdom. He simply throws the seeds indiscriminately; they fall everywhere. The kingdom of God is everywhere. The kingdom of heaven is available to everyone. But it is up to each one of us to turn over the soil in us that we may open ourselves to what the Spirit is saying to us in this time. Watching the News and listening for government instruction is one thing but it is the Spirit of God that will tell you the truth and it is Christ and Christ only in whom you will find the security your soul cries for. Try taking less news, less social media, and more prayer.

Cut Yourself Free

•June 19, 2020 • 1 Comment

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.”  

Matthew 10.34

WHEN JESUS OF NAZARETH speaks the message of Christ to us through the Gospels, he speaks with Hebrew and Aramaic poetry and story-telling techniques and nuances. He wastes no words and every word he does use has the power to reverberate in the heart of the listener, and enter the soul before the brain even begins its limited and laborious attempts to catch up and quantify what it thinks it has heard. It is for this reason that we must come to Scripture first with the heart, in contemplation, letting ourselves be steeped in small portions of it at a time, like in the ancient Christian practice of Lectio Divina.

    Jesus does not expect to be taken literally. All words are metaphors. They are never actually the thing or idea they point towards. Of course, we are not to “hate” our mother or father or sister or brother, as Luke puts it even more forcefully than Matthew’s version. However, our parents, teachers, ancestors, friends, colleagues etc, though they may love us and value us unreservedly, have passed on to us their own unconscious, semi-conscious and undealt with fears, prejudices, sadnesses and false beliefs as well as some of the potentially wise things they would like to have imparted.

     As we continue to climb within ourselves the metaphorical holy mountain of Matthew’s Gospel, there necessarily comes a time when we have to cut the cord that holds us to those inherited and assimilated influences. Only in returning to the Source, to discover the holy temple on the holy mountain of our true selves can we find the Wisdom we really need, in which Love can flow like living water in and through us, and so out into the world.

     Christ does not hold out to us a soporific, religious image of meek and mild niceness to plaster over our wounds. Christ brings us the sword we need to cut our true self free from the cowering ego that pretends to be “me”.

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