Tonnau Duw ('God's waves') Fr Tim Ardouin

Posted in Uncategorized

… do not let sin exercise dominion in your mortal bodies, to make you obey their passions…present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life…For you are not under law but under grace…The end is eternal life…the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord Romans 6

Open to the Grace,

And you will touch Life,

Cling to the doing,

And you will taste,

With sulphur tongue,

The rotten sapor

Of death.

Who will you choose,

To be your guide,

Through this world of seems

yet seems not?

Sense? Sensitivity? Sympathy? Emotionality? Logic?

Or are you hell-bent,

On going it alone,

Figuring it out for yourself,

Taking the bull,

By the horns?

Law or Grace?

Who do you trust,

Really?

~ breathe ~

The prophets who preceded you and me from ancient times prophesied war, famine, and pestilence against many countries and great kingdoms. As for the prophet who prophesies peace, when the word of that prophet comes true, then it will be known that the Lord has truly sent the prophet.’ Jeremiah 28

Dabar, Word,

Creation vibrating,

Across all time

And all space,

Sourced in no-time, no-place,

Spoken into being,

Through mouths of prophets,

Reverberating in the waves, the wind,

and all plants and creatures,

dancing across great, imagined plains,

between there and here,

Christed and blessed.

Can you hear her now,

As she calls your name?

‘Whoever welcomes you welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me.  Matthew 10

O God…with you as our ruler and guide we may so pass through things temporal that we finally lose not the things eternal Collect

~ breathe ~

I breathe in,

Grace.

I breathe out,

My desire to control.

I breathe in,

Wonder.

I breathe out,

All illusion of knowing.

Breathing in,

Trust,

In you, Lord Jesus Christ.

Breathing out,

I surrender to Love.

Through this temporal life,

You lead me, in the Way of eternity.

All the kingdoms I have built,

Be they tribe or temple,

Material or mental,

Are torn, by war, famine, and pestilence.

But the Peace,

That passes understanding,

Through Grace, remains.

She, and she only, will never pass away.

Posted in Uncategorized

Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? Therefore, we have been buried with him by baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.                                        Romans 6

Shock-wave tense

And brain-freezing,

I immerse my body

In the ice-bath sea.

Fighting the cold,

With teeth-clenched fists,

I oppose the roar

of waves,

And tumble,

Helpless, helpless, helpless

into the deep.

Kicking from the Davy Jones locker,

I rise to the gasp,

But the wave-bear roars once more,

And sends me back,

To the chaos deep.

All my close friends are watching for me to stumble. ‘Perhaps he can be enticed, and we can prevail against him…But the Lord is with me like a dread warrior; therefore my persecutors will stumble, and they will not prevail…O Lord of hosts, you test the righteous, you see the heart and the mind…

                                                           Jeremiah 20

Baptized into the Christ,

Yet ego still strong;

Live, screams Ego,

Fight and prevail!

My favourite thoughts scoff,

As the waves beat me sore.

Sand grazed, and jag-rock-bleeding,

I hear the cackle,

Of the one called Survival:

Never give up, Never give up…

Never…give…up……..

But the Lord is with me

Like a dread warrior…

~ breathe ~

Nothing is covered up that will not be uncovered, and nothing secret that will not become known. What I say to you in the dark, tell in the light; and what you hear whispered, proclaim from the housetops… ‘Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword… whoever does not take up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.’              Matthew 10

Take up your cross, my friend,

Die to your self,

and live in me.

Immersed in the Baptism,

The sword of the Christ,

Cuts twice,

Double edged,

Cling, and die,

Die,

and Live

~ breathe ~

The secret light is breaking through,

The Whisper breathes like Love.

Stop fighting, she says,

My love, and let go.

It is no numbness,

That masks the cold,

As I rise in submission,

To the living wave,

And yield to her life,

Body-surfing free.

And together we ride,

The Christ in me,

In on the tide,

From the One, shore-kissing Sea………………

Posted in Uncategorized

Abraham by the oaks of Mamre, as he sat at the entrance of his tent in the heat of the day. He looked up and saw three men standing near him. When he saw them, he ran from the tent entrance to meet them, and bowed down to the ground. He said, ‘My Lord, if I find favour with you, do not pass by your servant. Let a little water be brought, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree. Let me bring a little bread, that you may refresh yourselves, and after that you may pass on — since you have come to your servant.’

                                                                    Genesis 18

Derwen, duir,     (Welsh and Irish = oak tree)

Entrance door between worlds,

Place of contemplation,

Where time and eternity dance,

You meet me here,

Father, Son and Spirit Free.

Stay with your servant a while,

And I will bring to you,

The water and the bread of me,

In meditation breath,

And the prayer of my heart

~ breathe ~

I will lift up the cup of salvation and call upon the name of the Lord. I will fulfil my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people. Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants. Gracious is the Lord and righteous is his name.  Psalm 116                                                  

And I will call upon the Name,

And lift the chalice high,

As I make my solemn vow.

All that I am,

I offer unto thee,

So let the lust of my desire,

Burn in the fire

of the Triune Tree,

Cross of my Salvation,

As I die in thee,

Rising by Grace,

True self set free……

~ breathe ~

Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and curing every disease and every sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples…Go…to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. As you go, proclaim the good news, “The kingdom of heaven has come near.”

                                                                     Matthew 9

Here, in my contemplation,

The kingdom of God unfolds.

There is room,

In this heart-temple home,

For just about everyone.

No, not about,

There is room here,

For everyone.

The kingdom of heaven,

Has come close,

So close,

That she literally

breathes in me.

I will go now,

And take

the Good News,

Of this infinite space,

That dwells at core of all that breathes,

In the trees, in the birds,

In the sky and the sea,

Mountains and streams,

And deep in the hearts,

Of all human beings.

I will look into the eyes of

Each creature I meet,

And speak of the Way,

To the derwen duir,

And the Father, Son and Spirit Free

~ breathe ~

Posted in Uncategorized

The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable…Even youths will faint and be weary, and the young will fall exhausted; but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles  Isaiah 40

There is nothing I can think,

Complicated or simple,

Profound or profane,

Nor exercise I can perform,

Aerobic, anaerobic, body building or fitness flexing,

That can empower me to endless feats,

Be they altruistic or self-centred,

Or render my mortal flesh immortal,

Even if I dedicate all I am,

To Your service.

And yet,

In the effortless waiting

of my morning meditation,

Emptying to the Silence,

Opening to the Presence,

I touch Eternity.

And the chi of Livingness,

Lifts me, to soar on the thermal Breath,

Of Spirit,

And I am renewed,

In the Cosmic Dance,

Father, Son, Wild and Holy Wind………..

~ breathe ~

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars that you have ordained, what are mortals, that you should be mindful of them; mere human beings, that you should seek them out? O Lord our governor, how glorious is your name in all the world!  Psalm 8                                                     

Beyond understanding,

Judgement or logic,

Justification or pious ordeal,

Love Is.

From no thing but Love,

Come stars, like Light exploding,

Fire to crown chakra,

Living Water, like a fountain in the heart,

Earth belly birthing,

Christing children,

To carry all time and space,

To the souls of truth’s seekers,

Who yearn to be Free

~ breathe ~

Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them…And Jesus came and said to them…Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.’       Matt 28                              

In Ha Galil,

Centre of our being,

Christ waits in the Waiting,

For you and for me,

To submerge us with the Lovingness,

Send us out in the Flowingness,

From the Source of All-beingness,

To baptize in the Threeness,

All who come to the Wildness,

To be slaked in the quenching,

By the Water of Livingness,

Turning to the Forgivingness,

Of the One who dances,

Across plains of Consciousness,

And leads us all home,

To Tranquil Simplicity,

Nibbāna, Ātma, Dreamtime, Tao, Heaven… Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the saints greet you. The Grace…be with you……….  2 Corinthians 13             

Posted in Uncategorized

…while Jesus was standing there, he cried out, ‘Let anyone who is thirsty come to me, and let the one who believes in me drink. As the scripture has said, “Out of the believer’s heart shall flow rivers of living water.”’             John 7

Thirsty for Love,

Thirsty for meaning,

Thirsty for Truth,

The journey begins.

First out there,

Far and wide,

And I pray only for the strength,

To travel on,

‘God give me providence,

A place to lay my head tonight,

A generous public,

To fill my busking hat,

And may my traveling companions and I Eat, in the morning, our daily bread.’

But I do feel your voice within me,

And I love the stories. Sometimes even,

when I stumble into a church, just

to rest from the sun and the road dust,

It even seems the stories

and the Voice of Presence,

Speak together within my soul.

And the Soul groans,

‘I am so thirsty…’

The dust settles, and

I enter the Breath………………….

~ breathe ~

When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. And suddenly from heaven there came a sound like the rush of a violent wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them ability.                                                          Acts 2

Something,

No, not thing,

Has brought me, mysteriously,

To the upper room of me,

To the prayer of Ages,

In the breathing and the Silence.

The world in which I have been so,

Passionately travelling,

Where the quenching always seems,

To may be waiting around the next bend,

Or if not, then surely the following

hundred miles or so,

Seems somehow absorbed now,

As I am led within myself,

To a wellspring, of Living Water.

And the Voice-Presence vibrates,

Though there are no words,

And I drink, deep and slow………

~ breathe ~

Peter shouted out to the crowds, ‘…this is what was spoken through the prophet Joel: “In the last days it will be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams.”’         Acts continued                               

Visions and dreams,

They come together,

The old and the young,

Are One.

The wellspring is bubbling up,

From the centre,

Of time and space,

Until rivers of Living Water,

Flow from every part of me,

In all directions,

Flowing into a great Ocean,

Filled and overflowing,

With the Water from all God’s Creatures,

And the Spirit says, ‘All Being, Live!’

Posted in Uncategorized

I will take you from the nations, and gather you from all the countries, and bring you into your own land. I will sprinkle clean water upon you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you.                                             Ezekiel 36

Do you trust me?

I AM the still small voice,

That vibrates within you.

I know you feel it,

I behold the yearning of your heart,

Despite the ferocious, shouting

Argument screams of –

I’m not this so I must be that,

I am that, so I can’t be this!

Through all your searchings,

For identity, security and love,

All the let-downs, attachments, and

false moves,

I have been waiting,

My beloved,

For you,

To turn within,

And behold the Silence,

In which hearts of stone break open,

To the fountain flow of Living water…

Stay in the spaces between,

Pray deeply, as I breathe in you,

And I will free you from your idols,

And all that binds you.

Do you trust me?

~ breathe ~

Then (the Apostles) returned to Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet, which is near Jerusalem, a sabbath day’s journey away. When they had entered the city, they went to the room upstairs where they were staying…All these were constantly devoting themselves to prayer, together with certain women, including Mary the mother of Jesus, as well as his brothers.                              Acts 17

Olivet,

The mountain you prayed on,

Stayed by night on,

In the days of the Teachings,

In the Holy Temple,

Place of your doubt and pain, where you placed your death into God’s hands,

Very mount from which you ascended,

Into Glory.

And now here we are,

Sitting like Apostles,

Praying,

And praying,

In upper rooms of morning prayer,

Believing, / In the waiting, /

Trusting in the cleansing, /

Praying, / Waiting,

Trusting…………

~ breathe ~

‘I have made your name known to those whom you gave me…Now they know that everything you have given me is from you; for the words that you gave to me I have given to them, and they have received them and know in truth…‘I am asking on their behalf…Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one, as we are one                                                 John 17                                                   

We are in the world,

But we are not of the world,

And the world hates us,

Because the world hated you,

And because we cannot be controlled,

by the systems and values,

Of powerful dictate.

Lord, continue your working in us,

Cleanse us, heal us and send us out,

Filled with Holy Wisdom,

In the Spirit of Love,

To feed the prayers of your people

With the Promise of Life……………

Posted in Uncategorized

Then Noah built an altar to the Lord, and took of every clean animal and of every clean bird, and offered burnt-offerings on the altar

                                                                        Genesis 8

In the mountains of prayer,

I make an altar,

To sacrifice there,

The clean animals of me,

To set a fire to the LORD,

The smoke of me rising,

In the sweet incense of,

Morning Prayer.

Take the pure wildness of my soul,

And do with me as thou desirest, O God.

I offer thee the truth,

in the inward parts,

and in the hidden part 

thou mak’st me to know

Wisdom.

(God) gives to all mortals life and breath and all things. From one ancestor he made all nations to inhabit the whole earth, and he allotted the times of their existence and the boundaries of the places where they would live, so that they would search for God and perhaps grope for him and find him — though indeed he is not far from each one of us. For “In him we live and move and have our being”; as even some of your own poets have said…                                                           Acts 17

The place and the time,

In which to live,

To search,

To grope for the Source of All Being,

Is the Here and the Now.

Nothing beyond this, is.

The past is just poorly remembered

thought dust,

The future, mere projection,

Tendrils from fantasizing minds.

Here and Now,

God is,

Here, now, in the breath of my,

Breathing body,

I Am

~ breathe ~

 ‘If you love me, you will practice my teachings. And I will ask the Abba, and Abba will give you another Advocate, to be with you for ever. This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees her nor knows her. You know her, because she abides with you, and she will be in you John 14                                                   

Spirit,

Breathe in me,

Ruḥa,

Breathe through me.

Breathing in, I have arrived,

Breathing out, I am home.

~ breathe ~

‘I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you. In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will live. On that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you.                                                  John 14 contd.

Beloved,

You need not my offerings,

Though you accept them gladly.

I am the one,

Who, through these, am blessed.

It is in the offering,

Of all that I am,

Each truth that remains,

When all that is false,

Is, by your Grace, burned away,

That I know myself to be free.

In this Moment,

I live,

Because you Live,

In me………………………………

Posted in Uncategorized

an interview with Steve Balsamo

Posted in Uncategorized