Tonnau Duw ('God's waves') Fr Tim Ardouin

A Meditation for Kingdom 3

Heavenly Father, your blessed Son was revealed to destroy the works of the devil and to make us the children of God and heirs of eternal life…                            Collect     

There shall be a time of anguish, such as has never occurred since nations first came into existence. But at that time your people shall be delivered… Many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake… Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky…  Daniel 12.1-3

In the silence, the shadows of our fears can no longer hide within the chattering unconsciousness of our self-deluding castle walls. The pains of parent-failing childhood meet the raging youth and the half conformed, dream-suppressed grown up, growing up, dissembled, disembodied, distracted and diffused. Oh God, there is nowhere to hide here. The waves of my naked awareness threaten to overwhelm me. Oh God, from the depth of my drowning soul, I’m calling you. Oh God help me…

Preserve me, O God, for in you have I taken refuge;  I have said to the Lord, ‘You are my lord, all my good depends on you.’     

                                                             Psalm 16

I’ve built walls, mightier and thicker than my thickest skin…

As Jesus came out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, ‘Look, Teacher, what large stones and what large buildings!’

Then Jesus asked him, ‘Do you see these great buildings? Not one stone will be left here upon another; all will be thrown down.’                                                   Mark 13

Friend, don’t be afraid. You have built these walls to keep the monsters out. You have trusted worldly voices that have told you to hide your feelings and raise your fists, voices that say, ‘build your defences, dig in and fight hard. Face adversity with adversity, spite with spite, jealousy with zeal, fight the flight, flee the fight. Build yourself up, make yourself an empire, kick before you are kicked, laugh in the face of your own tears. Dog eat dog, eat dog…’

Now hear my voice, the One voice; listen:

Be still

and know that

I Am

God.

Let all walls fall around you.

The kingdom of God is breaking through in you. These pains you feel so strong and so hard, make you feel like your heart will explode, they are the birth pangs of the kingdom, malkuta d’alaha, the guiding principle of the One Breath, the Way of the Christ. The Love of the Source is breaking your walls, inside and outside, breaking in you, breaking through you –

This is but the beginning –  Mark 13

My friend, you are standing at the beginning…

And death shall have no dominion…

~ by Fr Tim Ardouin on November 10, 2021.

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